Where has the time gone? How does it fly so quickly?
33 years ago today, in the evening, our second daughter, Ali Elizabeth was born. Kelly Jo had spent most of six weeks in the hospital trying to prevent Ali from being born, but on May 23rd she could not be stopped any longer. We were blessed to hold her and love on her for a few hours and receive her love in return. In the early hours of the next day, as we were holding her, she slipped into eternity.
There are times, that I let my mind wander. What would Ali look like? What would her singing voice sound like? Would she sing the high part that we are always wishing for? What about her personality? Would she shine in a crowd or shy away? Would she be a "Daddy's girl" like Odie was? I can imagine her loving Odie so much and almost idolizing her Mom. Would she be a piano player like Kelly Jo?
My imagination would go on and on IF I would let it and soon the hurt would start pounding away at my heart. The questions are fun for a moment, but they are better off in small doses. It is better to stick with the things that I know.
I was holding Ali when her undeveloped lungs could sustain her no longer. I carried Ali in her little coffin to the grave myself. I let her down in the ground with my own hands and when the small service was over, I shoveled in the dirt myself. I know where her little body is, but I also know our Ali is in Heaven. For some reason, we are still here below. We can not bring her back to us, but we can go to her by the grace of God.
We are usually many miles from Ohio on Ali's birthday, but this year is different. KJo and I ordered some flowers, picked them up Friday morning and went to the cemetery for a while.
Ali was one of the first graves in this section, but it has many graves 33 years later. Some of them are family. I have two Uncles, two grandparents and a great Uncle buried within a few feet of Ali. My cousin Debbie and her husband Sonny mulched around the graves and they have everything looking so nice!
So we leave the flowers, walk away and I do not look back. One day, I will see her again and I will be amazed at how beautiful she is. That is why I look forward and not behind!
On this Memorial Day weekend, you may decorate the grave of a loved one and you may reminisce a little and she a tear or two. May God bless you, my dear friend! This is one of the very hard things in life.
Thank you for reading today.